The global war on drugs has been “remarkable successful” according to a new report by a group of South American politicians (all of whom deny any links with the drugs trade, honest) and Afghan Police (ditto).
Their report makes the point that the anti-drug policy has succeeded by fuelling organised crime, costing taxpayers millions of dollars and causing thousands of deaths.
They highlight UN estimates that opiate use increased 35% worldwide from 1998 to 2008, cocaine by 27% and cannabis by 8.5% as proof of the incredibly effective advertising campaign put together in the early 80’s by all the interested parties.
“As you can see from our sales figures and profit projections the combined efforts of Western Government’s attempts to induce despair and hopeless into its peoples and South America’s horticultural knowledge and excellent logistical understandings has come together almost seamlessly. It is a “perfect storm” if you will” said Ernesto Fernando Gaviria spokesman for Narcos For A Better World.
He added “The West’s continuing desire to punish users and it’s refusal to see drug addiction as a disease that needs treatment has also been remarkably helpful to us. If you lock up a person with a drug problem within a penal system that has been flooded with narcotics rather than helping them to beat their addiction then what do you think is going to happen? On behalf of my share holders I would like to thank them for this and would like to encourage them in the strongest terms to carry on with this policy.”
He went on to praise the efforts of Coalition forces in Afghanistan to keep the price of opium artificially high via its eradication policy saying that “leaving local farmers with no crop and, therefore, no money was an excellent recruiting tool for our close friends in the Taliban.”
