I have just watched the really rather excellent “Eastern Promises” directed by David Cronenburg on surprisingly restrained form, well there is quite a lot of blood and some violence but for a Cronenburg film it's restrained. It is a great film focusing on Eastern European organised crime in London, I won't tell you more than that, I don't want to spoil it for you.

This is not a blog post to review the film, I'm not clever enough, erudite enough or knowledgeable about film enough to do that beyond “it's really good” but I would like to point out one little thing that really put me off whilst watching it.

The film stars Naomi Watts and the ever excellent Viggo Mortensen who is brilliant pretty much everything he does but, having said that, it is he who is the problem. It's not his acting that is the problem but his hair and his wardrobe.

In the film he is involved in acts of rather extreme violence, he gets beaten up, stabbed and has a fight in a sauna whilst naked and, in an early scene, he is having rather joyless sexy with a prostitute and all whilst be-quiffed and suited. In short, he looks exactly like EXACTLY LIKE MARK KERMODE! You know Mark Kermode? Author, TV presenter, award winning contributor to the BBC's flagship movie review show, slightly obsessed with The Exorcist?

This, as you can imagine, is a little disconcerting, watching Viggo/Mark cut a corpses fingers off or seeing Mark/Viggo's tight bottom as he got the bejesus beaten out of his tattooed self. It was just a little bit upsetting.


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