Showing Tag: "bp" (Show all posts)

Ah, The Memories.

Posted by Martyn Norris on Monday, March 21, 2011, In : General

And so I was watching BBC news 24 (no matter how bad it is, and it is bad, it's not Sky news) and I got a slight whiff of nostalgia. Now this is odd for me because I don't remember a great deal of the events that have shaped my life up to this point and it, sometimes, makes life a little difficult as those who don't learn the lessons form history are doomed to repeat them I'm told. Well that's OK if you can remember them but I can't so I will probably repeat great chunks of my life (I do hope...

And The Award Goes To.....

Posted by Martyn Norris on Sunday, January 23, 2011, In : General

“Please welcome Ashton Kutcher's dad, Bruce Willis!”

Yes, there was some news on Friday and we will get to it but let's not to anything too detailed and in depth, I'm on the wind down for a rather long holiday. I'm going to be away for a month, to Canada if you are interested, but if you are a burglar, and you happen to be reading this, we have left Cerberus in our hallway and he'll give you one hell of a nip if you try and break in.

We are staying with some friends for most of the ...

How To Be A Better Racist.

Posted by Martyn Norris on Wednesday, January 12, 2011, In : Racism

Dear The BNP,

Hi, how are you? Everything going well? Sorry I haven't been in touch for a while but I think you are a bunch of insufferable bastards. I feel though that I have something to offer your “cause”.

I was looking on your website today (I was doing research before you ask, following up on the thing I wrote about Jack Straw and seeing how you reacted to it, all too predictably as it turns out. Oh and Muslim is not the same thing as Pakistani by the way, you seem to ...

Diana Watch

Posted by Martyn Norris on Sunday, July 11, 2010,

“So can I ask you why you are applying for asylum in this country Mr John?”

“Well, I am a Gay man and in my country that is illegal. If I am caught being gay then I will imprisoned or worse, I could be put to death in a series of excruciatingly painful ways.”

“Well, that is very interesting. So if you are a caught being gay in your country the government of that country may kill you.”

“Yes, that is exactly wh...

Diana Watch

Posted by Martyn Norris on Sunday, June 27, 2010,

Good news, it's not just the Express that prints pictures of Princess Diana on their front page, sometimes other people do too. Look, here she is on The Times,

I'm in a bit of sports frenzy at the moment what with the World Cup, Wimbledon, Cricket and a Grand Prix this weekend as well. I am barely leaving the house at the moment which is a shame because the weather is lovely.

Depending on when you read this England are about to play Germany or have played Germany in the Wo...

Diana Watch

Posted by Martyn Norris on Sunday, June 20, 2010,

So do they think I am a sucker? This person was so keen to get my money that she e-mailed me twice on the same day,

“Trust & Good Faith. I am Mrs Sara Faraj, I am 62 years old from Kuwait, I am

suffering from along time cancer of the Lungs which also affected my hearing

ability and my brain. My husband died in a fatal motor accident. Since his

death I decided not to re-marry, I sold all my inherited belongings and

deposit...

Diana Watch

Posted by Martyn Norris on Saturday, June 12, 2010,

If the subject line of an E-mail is “REGARDS” and then claims to be from a bank, am I right to assume that it is phishing?

It continues “Dear Friend, Compliment of the day to you my name is Garry Loopy finance manager Bank of Scotland, I am contacting you to seek your partnership in a pending business project which i have here in my hand and ready to be executed without hitches,
Please if you are interested do respond back to me via email:
communicatewithgloopy1@live.com”.

I’m ri...

Diana Watch

Posted by Martyn Norris on Sunday, June 6, 2010,

“I didn’t get into Vet School so I became a Doctor.”

Has there been a Princess Diana based front page this week? Of course there has,

but the Express also distinguished themselves on Wednesday by completely ignoring the devastation being caused to the Gulf coast of America, the animals and fish that are dying and the peoples whose livings are being destroyed such as shrimp fisherman. They even ignored the rather po...